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The Diary of a Submissive, by Sophie Morgan

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Sophie Morgan is an independent woman in her thirties with a successful journalism career. Intelligent, witty and sarcastic, she could be the girl next door. Except that Sophie is a submissive; in the bedroom she likes to relinquish her power and personal freedom to a dominant man for their mutual pleasure.

In the wake of Fifty Shades of Grey, here is a memoir that offers the real story of what it means to be a submissive. From the endorphin rush of her first encounter right through to punishments the likes of which she couldn’t begin to imagine, she explains in frank and explicit fashion the road she travels. But it isn’t until she meets James that her boundaries are really pushed. As her relationship with him travels into darker and darker places the question becomes: where will it end? Can she reconcile her sexuality with the rest of her life and is it possible for the perfect man to also be perfectly cruel?

Racy, controversial, but always warm, fun and astoundingly honest this is a fascinating and thought provoking look at a seemingly paradoxical side to human nature and sexuality that no man or woman will be able to put down.

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This book is not everybody’s cup of tea I would say but I really liked it and enjoyed reading it a whole lot!

If you liked the Fifty Shades serie, and other Bared To You, you might be tempted to give this book a try. But if you are  considering this book thinking it will be something like the two books I mentioned, then I’d tell you to be careful with your choice because even though this book is about BDSM as well, it is nothing like what Fifty Shades and the likes are about. If you’ve read Annabel Joseph and liked her books, then I’d say you’re more likely to appreciate this book, since it’s a little closer to what Sophie Morgan describes in her book.

“In my mind my submission is a gift, something to be earned …”

The Diary Of A Submissive is an honest confession of what it means to be a submissive. Don’t expect this book to sugar-coat things for you because it won’t. Sophie Morgan gives us her view of what it is like to be a submissive in real life. Her writing style is really nice and easy to read, and she made me laugh a lot. Also, she breaks some of the stereotypes one can have on BDSM and the D/s dynamic, which was refreshing.

“I decided quickly that committing crimes against grammar was a hard limit for me.”

Sophie is not a spineless woman who lets domineering men push her around like some would think when they read the word submissive. She is her own person, she thinks for herself and she is a bright and independent woman. The relationships she has are equal and healthy ones too. She does not fall into BDSM as a result of some horrible trauma in her past or because of an unfortunate childhood and/or daddy issues. With all the books on BDSM out there now a days, people know more about what BDSM entails, but there are still prejudices about it and this book pretty much sets us straight on what it is to be a submissive. Even though it’s only one person’s story, I think this book will open the eye of a lot of people, especially since it’s not fiction.

“I consider myself a feminist. I’m certainly independent. Capable. In control. To some that might seem incongruous with the choices I make sexually, the things that get me off. For a while it seemed jarring to me. In fact, sometimes it still does, but I’ve come to the conclusion that there are more important things to worry about. I’m a grown woman of usually sound mind. If I want to relinquish my personal control to someone I trust so that they can lead us somewhere which proves thrilling and hot for both of us, then as long as I’m not doing it somewhere where I’m frightening small children or animals I think that’s my right. I take responsibility for my actions and choices.”

We follow her through her life and the important relationships she’s had and that helped her figuring out who she is and what she craves. It was very interesting to see her grow into herself and gradually learn what she wanted sexually from her first steps into BDSM to the harder, more intense sessions and all the exploration there is in between, all of those helping her figure out what she wants and is looking for in a relationship.

“I knew I was fussy, but frankly I wasn’t planning on settling for anyone who didn’t tick a few of my boxes, not least being loving, thoughtful, clever, funny, holding down a job he cared about (…), liking children and animals, and not minding the smell of Marmite-y breath. Oh and had to have a penchant for hurting, controlling and humiliating me in as many imaginative, degrading ways as he could come up with, while not being an actual honest-to-goodness psychopath.”

But a word of caution for you. This book IS about real BDSM and someone’s needs. Sophie needs pain to get-off and some of her partners are real sadists. She also needs to be humiliated and some of the things she does and has her partners do to her can be very shocking for some readers.

I am a very open-minded person, and yet, some of the things Sophie did and had done to her made me uncomfortable. I’m thinking of one session in particular with Tom who is her friend and partner (but not her lover) that was very intense and left me feeling unsure about my feelings on what happened. I read this book knowing some of the things mentioned in it might not be for me. I’m not a sadist nor a masochist. I don’t enjoy or feel comfortable inflicting pain on someone even if they’re willing to receive it. But I was still able to read this book and try and understand how and why Sophie needed this.

“You like being pushed to do things you find difficult because you enjoy overcoming them. It’s the challenge of it, the game for you.”

I think if you know that, and you keep an open mind and try to understand that, even though some things are not for you and you are against doing it or them being done to someone, they are wanted, needed and at times essential to some people.

I was a little frustrated though at the end (you’ll know why when you read it) but I guess I’ll have the answer to my question in her next book. I’m really looking forward to reading it.

This book is not for you if you are looking of a romanticized insight into the mind of a submissive. Nothing is sugar-coated in this book. Sophie holds nothing back and reveals her thoughts and feelings to the reader in order to make us understand how her body and mind work.

“I obey in spite of every fibre of my being saying I don’t need to do this, for the small voice which whispers that I do.”

So all in all, I would highly recommend this book to those who are into BDSM themed books or just curious to know what it means to be a submissive, or have questions on the “lifestyle” and the D/s dynamic. But this book is no picnic, so be ready to go through some pretty intense “sessions”…

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